October 22, 2008 at 9:47 am 1 comment

Yesterday was like a whirlwind of emotion. I’ve been up and down all week, for no particular reason (stress?) — until yesterday, as I was reading an article about gratefulness: the phone rang and what I heard was like a blow to the chest. Everything came crashing down and puddled into one, very strong sense of sadness. But the longer I stayed on the phone, the more apparent it became that the sadness we all felt was not a result of the events themselves: it’s the kind of sadness you feel when someone you love has done something that leaves you feeling hurt, but even more concerned for him. You’re sad because you know the great things he’s capable of.

My head is still spinning, but I need to pull myself up by my metaphorical bootstraps; I can’t go around moping forever. It seems easier when all the negative feeling stems from one, concrete event. You can start problem-solving, looking on the bright side, and move on. But this case of the blues calls for a bigger weapon. It calls for gratefulness. Gratefulness for little things.

Little things like wearing slippers at work, and The Nutcracker Suite. Monthly calendars, and colored Sharpies to cross the days off as they pass. Warm hugs on cold days, and iron-free pants. The Calvin and Hobbes cartoon Jen gave me that’s taped to the top of my monitor and makes me laugh every time. Ibuprofen. Whitespace. Interrobangs and asterisks. Made-up words and portmanteaus. Kneading bread. Decorating the Christmas tree. Lacy snowflakes and the shape of trees. A husband who doesn’t mind reaching the top shelf for me. Knowing that the distress is only temporary, that the sun will shine tomorrow. Being surrounded by people who demonstrate unconditional love. A brother who is my oldest friend. Knowing love in spite of loneliness, a sense of purpose amid confusion. Finding that smiling is far easier than it seems, and that laughter can cure almost anything.


Entry filed under: Head & Heart. Tags: , , , .

IT’S MAH BIRTHDAY! I’m not running a marathon right now

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. onewandering  |  October 22, 2008 at 2:21 pm

    The Jen-bird of smiles and all things Happeh would like to deliver unto you…


    There now. Don’t you feel better?! ;)

    Yep, sometimes supercalifragilistically large things are in fact, quite little. :) Like “quotation marks.”



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