If you’re crazy and you know it

October 30, 2008 at 12:55 pm Leave a comment

When I was in college, if you had asked me what my hobbies were, I would have responded with something like, “Uhhhh… Drawing?” Although the fact of the matter was that I only drew or did any sort of artwork because I had to, for school you see, and if “student” was my occupation then I was a workaholic-aholic. School was my life; it was all I did, all I had ever done, all I knew how to do. It would probably be safe to say that school was my hobby. Which explains why, when I graduated and started a full-time job, I found that I was incredibly bored. So did I draw? Did I make block prints? Did I take up crochet? (I did learn to cook, but that’s beside the point.) No. I enrolled in a graduate program. I went back to school.

I was feverishly engaged in my academic studies — as many classes as humanly possible, because I’m a bit psychotic — until I realized that I was exhausted and couldn’t think anymore, no not even if I wanted to. In an uncharacteristic move, I didn’t register for classes one semester. I took a break. A beautiful, two-semester break. And on my break, I discovered a new world full of exciting possibilities that might be even more fun than school: I discovered hobbies. REAL hobbies. Paper art, printmaking, crochet, blogging. It IS possible to not be in school and NOT be bored!

Only now I’m back in classes on the home stretch toward my master’s degree. It feels like it’s more work than it was before; it seems more time-consuming. Then it dawned on me that I have other interests now. I don’t have time for hobbies, and it’s frustrating me. 

But I’m defiant, stubborn, and I tend to measure my self-worth by the number of personal accomplishments I’ve achieved. It’s even better when I’ve got deadlines. And since I didn’t get to check off Marathon, I signed up for NaNoWriMo, commiting myself to the goal of writing 50,000 words or more of a novel between November 1st and 30th. See my participant progress badge at the bottom of my sidebar. The promise of seeing “participant” turn to “WINNER” will drive me onward. If Kerouac could do it, I can too. Nevermind that I feel like I barely have time to accomplish the things I need to accomplish, much less the things I want to accomplish. Nevermind that I don’t have even an inkling of a plot in mind. It should be fun.

Meanwhile my Better Judgement has locked itself in the bathroom, weeping.

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Entry filed under: Craft, Head & Heart. Tags: , , , .

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