Meh, Christmas

December 16, 2008 at 12:30 pm 1 comment

Something’s wrong with Christmas this year. I mean, seriously, deeply wrong. Do you feel it too?

You might call me a perfectionist — a neurotic perfectionist, even. To a pathological level. When I’m planning to host the family for a holiday (or whatever), for the weeks and months prior, a chronological to-do list is my constant companion. I’m forever checking and adding and highlighting and updating, and rewriting the list when the old one gets too messy (this happens at least once a week). I plan out which tasks need to be completed each week; I break it down to daily tasks for each week as they come (replete with carefully curated shopping lists and menus). And finally, when we get down to the final few days, I have everything planned out, hour-by-precious hour. OCD, sure. But I’m a well-oiled entertaining machine, I tell you.

It’s how I know that *this* year, something has gone strangely awry: We are hosting the family for Christmas, which is now just slightly more than one week away, and I don’t have a list. Actually, I tried forcing a list, but it lacks the sense of urgency that usually goes with my sacred list-making — that feeling that the tenuous fate of the universe is hinged on completion of the list items. I don’t feel compelled to make a list and check it twice seventy times, which is the really scary thing. I’m behaving like a non-neurotic person. It isn’t normal. It’s Christmas, seven people are coming to my house, and I just don’t care.

It’s not like I don’t want to care. I half-heartedly managed to put up my Christmas decorations a few weeks ago, and have been working non-stop making Christmas gifts (okay, so I’m not totally un-crazied), listening to my healthy collection of Christmas music, even watching Christmas movies, but all of these things combined evoke nothing more from me than a bland, “Meh.”

Can I get an “Amen”?! Because I know I’m not alone. In fact, it seems that I’m in very good company. Everyone seems to have the same response this year. Is it just that we’re making a lazy push through the final straightaway of a particularly exhausting year? Probably. I don’t know about everyone else, but my brain is tired and my emotions are drained.

I’m starting to look forward to next year, when hopefully I’ll achieve all the lofty goals I didn’t meet this year. But first, it’s Christmas, and dinner is shaping up to consist of pot roast, tater tots and cookies, enjoyed with seven other people in the phosphorescent glow of the television, somewhere between piles of craft projects and a battlefield of laundry, tearing open presents wrapped in glittering sheets of aluminum foil. No, it’s not okay with me, but I don’t much care to do anything about it. So Merry Christmas. Or whatever.


Entry filed under: Head & Heart. Tags: , , , , .

Thanksgiving: a vignette Speaking my language

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. onewandering  |  December 16, 2008 at 12:56 pm


    I’m thinking of going “GREEN” this year and just putting bows on unwrapped gifts, all in the spirit of saving the Earth. What do you think?!!?!


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