It’s virtual Friday!

April 2, 2009 at 11:12 am Leave a comment

I joined Twitter for two reasons: (1) I’m insane, (2) because I could sense that the Internet just wants to know. I’d say I did it for social networking, but we all know that I’m not the most social of creatures, owing to a deep rooted social anxiety and shyness. Even online. Someone help me please.

This weekend is a three-glorious-day-long weekend. I continue to feel ridiculously high-strung and stressed out because of school, but feel like I’m managing to pretty much keep my cool. Which means I’m probably really frightening and crazed-looking. I’m also having trouble writing a focused paragraph, although you might not have noticed.

Today, though, I feel oddly optimistic — I’m in the mood to clean, which means Keith should probably just disappear for about 36 hours until it wears off. When he’s gone and I can run around the house doing my cleaning-thing, I’m happy. When he’s home and I’m trying to run around the house doing my cleaning-thing, I turn mean and bitter. It’s like Jekyll and Hyde. I can’t explain it.

And then the other, realistic side of me feels sorry for my cockeyed optimism because she knows that my ambition is greater than my ability. She knows that by Sunday night, I’ll be all high-strung, frustrated and sad again because I won’t have accomplished nearly as many things as I’d imagined. Then she’ll remind me that she told me so.

The other day, Jen wrote about the plight of the neurotic perfectionist: how we like to document things and make lists, overanalyze every decision and ultimately measure our self-worth by the number and scale of our accomplishments. She wondered how to break free of it.

It gave me an idea: we could keep a weekly log of all the things we allow ourselves to do less than perfectly, that don’t have a negative impact on anything or anyone else — in other words, letting go of the things that really don’t matter. Then, at the end of the week, we could look back over our list of less-than-perfections and analyze, reflect. And make a graph, so that at the end of a quarter, say, we can celebrate how far we’ve come.

Only — wait — let’s think about this: I want to document and keep a list of each time we accomplish doing something less than perfectly, after analyzing whether it matters or not. And then quantify and analyze the results. And reward ourselves for the quantity and scale of those accomplishments.

Someone help me please.


Entry filed under: Head & Heart. Tags: , .

Sister Spring fix

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.


%d bloggers like this: